Author: Robert Reyes

Red Tide Hits Galveston Beach: Hundreds of Thousands of Dead Fish Wash Ashore

“Hundreds of thousands of dead fish are covering beaches from Galveston all the way to Freeport. It`s a mess, to say the least. Texas Parks and Wildlife Department officials say the fish — identified as shad — are dying due to a lack of oxygen levels in the water. This type of fish is particularly sensitive to varying oxygen levels. As the temperature rises, oxygen levels drop.” ABC I love the sights, sounds and scents of the beach: Sun tan lotion, hot girls in bikinis, seagulls flying overhead. The stench of hundreds of thousands of dead fish puts a damper on things. The water was tested and it is safe to get in, but who the hell wants to swim with the dead fish? The nightmare is far from over, more fish are expected to wash ashore. The real nightmare may be what these dead fish portend — something is rotten in Denmark. For the last couple of years there have been many incidents of dead fish and dead birds all over the world. I`m not a doomsday prophet, but I will be very happy when I wake up on December 22, 2012. I think I will celebrate by having catfish for lunch, and fried chicken for dinner. What do you think, is there something fishy about all these reports of dead fish? Send us your thoughts. Follow Robert...

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Houston Ground Zero Zombie Apocolypse: Man Bites Child

“A Houston-area man has been accused of grabbing an 11-year-old boy and biting him on the face. Records show 70-year-old Abdus Sattar of Spring has been charged with injury to a child in the July 14 incident. Authorities say the boy told investigators he was riding his go-kart when a man flagged him down. A criminal complaint says the man grabbed the boy, kissed him and bit his cheeks.” NBC DFW An All American scene: A kid riding his go-kart without a care in the world, his only objective to have fun. If more children were riding a go-kart instead of sexting on a smartphone or looking at porn on a computer, our country would not be in such a mess. But then reality intruded in the idyllic scene and a 70-year-old zombie flagged the kid down and bit him on the face. All 70-plus men walk like zombies, so there’s a slight chance this old goat could have been your run-of-the-mill old perv. But the lesson is clear: Kids, if an old fart tries to flag you down when you are riding your bike or go-kart, run over the old fart. Follow Robert Paul Reyes on...

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Houston Woman Wrongfully Arrested?

“A Houston woman said she was wrongfully arrested by police for holding up a ‘speed trap’ sign near where an officer was pulling over motorists. Natalie Plummer said she wrote ‘speed trap’ on a grocery bag and held it at the roadside on West Dallas June 21 after she spotted an officer pulling motorists over while she was riding home on her bicycle.” Natalie Plummer is a folk hero who was performing a public service, by warning motorists to slow down. Plummer wasn’t obstructing justice as the arresting officer initially claimed, she was merely being a good citizen. Plummer...

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